Roll it up, then throw it down.

PLEASE PLAY AGAIN. These are the words you’re sure to find under the rim of your morning coffee these days. Yes, it’s that time again…

In what has become a modern rite of spring, Tim Hortons Inc. has launched their annual “Roll Up The Rim” contest. Now, I don’t buy any more Tim’s coffee during this “contest” than I do normally, so it’s no real financial loss when every cup comes up a loser. Nevertheless, I believe that their sales do skyrocket, thanks to those who do buy more coffee from Tim Hortons now, to increase their odds of “winning”.

I envision a boardroom full of very happy people up at Tim Hortons Inc. at this time of year. So happy, in fact, that the phrase “Roll Up The Rim” is actually just an anagram for “Pure Mirth, LOL”. A contest by that name wouldn’t have been as commercially successful, so they went with the one we know and love today.

Bottom line: it’s just one more source of disappointment in an already overcrowded category.

Forgiven

It’s never a burden to be wanted
Even when it’s an impossible dream.
An admiration from the safest distance;
The selective pressure of a mindless meme

How can anything be forbidden
When everything will be forgiven?
Like a secret scream at the centre of the earth,
Nothing is born until the moment of birth.

Drawn into a desperate, frightening world;
An energetic hell of hurtful wonder.
No painful feeling could ever extinguish
The miserable thrill of going under.

How can anything be forbidden
When everything will be forgiven?
Like a secret scream at the centre of the earth,
Nothing is born until the moment of birth.

Behind a locked door waits a scary question.
There’s no such thing as all is fair.
The hours of imagined conversations
Written in a diary of despair.

How can anything be forbidden
When everything will be forgiven?
Like a secret scream at the centre of the earth,
Nothing is born until the moment of birth.

zzz

You know what’s worse than doing nothing because you have nothing to do?  Doing nothing despite having something to do (that you want to do) but can’t do because you’re waiting on a client, or a manager, or maybe… waiting on a brain.

Whoops, scratch that last one.

Now I really feel as if I’m slacking off.

Did they go? Soon, we’ll know.

So in the spring of 2009, NASA will send a Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter, or LRO, up to map the moon in its entirety, along with a host of other scientific stuff.

"That's one small step for man..."

Even if you couldn’t care less about NASA or LRO or WTF, the mission site is worth visiting for one reason alone: when you get to the part where they list the reasons for going, a glaring omission is, “To prove we really went there 40 years ago!” I think NASA will enjoy debunking the hoaxmongers more than all the terabytes of data combined…

Time Off

Trained professional. Do not attempt.

I guess I’m like most people. Or rather, most people are like me. However you look at it, we all enjoy time off work, don’t we?…

Whether or not you enjoy that time off greatly depends on the reason for it. At least, that’s what I’ve learned over the last little while – off work.

The good reasons, like paid annual leave and statutory holidays, are cool because you know how long they’re going to last. That might not seem like a good thing, but when you’re waiting on other people to tell you when your “holidays” will be over, it definitely is.

To add insult to injury, sometimes the folks who hold the key to your return to work have little or no understanding of how important a person’s job is to their sense of self worth. I haven’t been away from my job nearly long enough to be suffering from that fallout, but I have been in the past.

So, I guess I’ll just pretend to enjoy it.

And the winner is…

In last night’s 2008 Federal election, the NOTAP won by a landslide. Endorsed by more than 4 of every 10 eligible Canadian voters, this was their largest win in Canadian election history.

Source: http://www.elections.ca/content.asp?section=pas&document=turnout&lang=e&textonly=false

As they have never had a leader, party members or platform, they were yet again disqualified. Elections Canada thereby awarded the “victory” to the first runner-up Conservative Party of Canada, which only mustered the support of just over one-fifth of eligible voters.

Here is a breakdown of how the parties fared:

NOTAP (None Of The Above Party)	41%
Conservative Party of Canada	22%
Liberal Party of Canada	15%
NDP (New Democratic Party)	11%
Bloc Québécois	6%
Other	5%

Source: http://enr.elections.ca/National_e.aspx

As a spokesperson for the NOTAP could not be found for comment, it can only be assumed that they will continue with their winning strategy of garnering the support of 100% of non-voters.

Response to Harper’s Decision to cut Arts Funding

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3zBPnIYavI&feature=related

I’ve got to admit… it’s really, really funny. 

Although it would probably be better if my french was any good.

The best part is, the numbers being thrown around are $87 billion in cuts when, in reality, Harper announced cuts of $45 million.  I realize that it’s still a large cut for arts funding and that Harper made a faux pas when he made that decision, but, at the same time, the figures being thrown around by Margaret Atwood and everyone else are wildly exaggerated.

By the way, when are we getting this so-called platform from the Conservatives?  October 14th at 00:01? 

And now I’m no longer even discussing anything related to music.

Canada Geese in Victoria Park

From the City of Kitchener website: “Over the past several years, the population of geese in Victoria Park has reached levels that cause conflict with residents…Last year, traffic jams were caused from geese crossing Jubilee Drive, and the amount of goose droppings in the park affected visitors’ use of the park. “

Funny, but, unfortunately, quite true.  Although it’s funny watching people stop to let the geese cross the road.  By the way, I always thought geese migrated south in winter.

Not in the K-W area, apparently.

Somebody’s Hero (?)

I’m not a huge fan of the U.S. elections, but they are fun to watch. The buffoonery of one of the candidates in particular makes me laugh. I betcha know who I’m talking about. Even the ones who aren’t really stupid pretend to be that way if it’s in their best interest. I think Gerald Ford started that tactic. Some Canadians say they wish our politicians were as charismatic, interesting, and soap opera-y as the Americans’. This Canadian says “No, thanks…”

In other news, Foo Fighters have told John McSame to stop using their song My Hero in his campaign, because it “perverts the original sentiment of the lyric”, and that it “tarnishes the song”. You think?!?! The band, and many others, want people to get out and vote. What they don’t want is for anyone to think they support one guy over another. Heart had the same thing happen to them earlier this month, when Joe Six-Pack thought that it would be cute to use their song Barracuda as her theme at a rally. The party, as a hole whole, retorted by saying that the protests by both bands were a “big to-do about nothing”.

What next – the Green Party using If I Had A Million Dollars?

haha

The ability to make others laugh, which is a talent that is almost a gift, is one of the most coveted of all abilities. In fact, some of the most unsung of all heroes are the clowns, comedians, and cartoonists of the world.

There are really only two kinds of people: those who have a sense of humour, and everybody else. However,  what would be considered amusing by one person could be deemed offensive or insensitive to another. As the great Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe once said, “Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.” For example, if you were to address a group with, “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades”, you would likely observe a wide range of emotions. It would all depend on things such as age, attitude, personal experience, and point of view, to name a few. What would be your reaction in the following situations?:

• you’re a drive-through attendant, and the customer specifies that their order is “to go”;
• overhearing someone hollering random numbers while someone else is counting; or
• someone asking a close friend which gender they are.

There are as many different sub-types of humour as there are reactions to them. Ranging from the shrewd sarcasm of dry wit to the hilarious absurdity of slapstick, the opportunities for laughter abound. Some just aren’t as obvious as others.

Ironically, even irony can be funny, as in a narrative on humour which contains no humour itself.